Hi.
I’m Allie and if you’re new here this is aligningtoallie.
You might be thinking you already read that and if I’m Allie how am I aligning to myself. Well, to put it simply my name is Allison. It was Allison. That’s not who I am anymore. Allison is now the integrated Shadow, who walks beside me. Myself, as Allie, meaning Harmony, was the one adorned with the crown only because of what Allison endured. Now compost for the garden of life, Allison was forged in the flame, so Allie could emerge, unshakeable in my truth.
Let’s talk about the Dark Night of the Soul where everything that no longer fits the identity you’ve built is stripped away. If your foundation remains, you come out stronger, calmer and at ease with yourself. There will be resistance, there will be instances of uncertainty and scarcity and likely you’ll be sent back to your original foundation. For me, this was returning to my core of working fast food and multiple jobs to make ends meet, as my job, my friends and my family were all things that were not allowed to move with me on this journey once I outgrew the script they expected me to run. I was no longer operating from trauma, but rather from authenticity.
The Dark Night of the Soul only occurs once enough internal work is done. It asks, even when you have nothing, do you stick to your values? When you can’t use your gifts, will you ask for help? Where is the real core wound, because it’s likely not the one you originally thought it was. For myself, I originally thought my core wound was abandonment, but doing deep dives into my own mind, I’ve found that it’s being invisible, not heard, and erased from my own life and feelings.
The Dark Night asks that you call soul fragments back to you, that you sit in darkness and uncertainty and remind yourself that in order to be a light for others you must first be a light for yourself.
My Dark Night of the Soul included screaming, crying, uncontrollable emotions, and not working for two months. I was terminated from a job that I had been at and been living comfortably from for four years, but that I knew was keeping me small.
I had a terrible birthday where not even my best friends of years, my mother or my brother attempted to reach out, and nothing made me feel better that day.
I put myself into and out of uncomfortable positions because I no longer tolerate what my soul quickly outgrows.
I retrieved a soul fragment of my seven-year-old self who was hiding under the bed, crying because she knew no one would come looking for her. And that’s just the basics.
It also included changing my mindset, allowing those emotions to surge and surface even when I couldn’t control them, admitting to myself what I wanted, sitting with the psychology and the spirituality to refine my practice. In this I never lost my core beliefs that I’ve built over the past year.
I’ve only learned to set boundaries, stay firm in belief, not be afraid of calling out harm and not be afraid of sharing my story and my voice. I’ve learned to pick up different tools when the ones I’ve grown comfortable with are not working, to look for help in unexpected places and always continue to learn and grow no matter what hardships life throws at you.
You may begin your Dark Night of the Soul and ask yourself “Why Bother if I can’t see the Light at the end of the Tunnel?”
I’m here to tell you, that once you make it through it, your story will be just as important to others as it is to you. Inspiration and impact is more of what we need to see in the world. Less reading of scripts, less instant gratification, and more of us who truly have done the work and earned our places as teachers, mentors and guides for other, more authenticity with humility and honesty.
Just like flowers bloom through the snow and the caterpillar transforms to the butterfly through the chrysalis, we also plant roots that may have to bloom in the dark before we can see the beauty in what we’ve become.
As always,
Blessed Be on Your Journey.
With Shadow, Light and Integration, Always
-Allie 🌻
Aligning to Allie 
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