The Foundation

EARLY YEARS

Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve had a connection to the Divine. Growing up, we didn’t have words for it, but I always thought it was odd when people said they didn’t believe in spirits when myself and my family (my mom especially) were able to see, hear and feel them so clearly. I remember my mom constantly knowing when family members or friends were going to pass away, as they would come visit her in dreams. My earliest interaction with moms dream walking skills was when she told me that her grandmother had passed away circa 2003. I was only 4 years old. Sure enough, that day we got the call saying she had passed. Dad has dreamwalking abilities as well, but is still coming to terms with being part of something bigger. Later that year, on New Year’s Eve, I knew something was wrong, a gut knowing. Our bird, Chirpie, had passed away. This would start a long line of me finding passed animals, and knowing they passed before ever physically seeing them. 

I anchor my practice at the solar plexus chakra, in Divine Will and claircogizance, clear knowing, is my strongest channel, paired with Clairaudience, clear hearing. Even as a child, thoughts from spirits were heard in my head, coming from a different place than my own thoughts. Usually internal thoughts, song lyrics, or single words, but occasionally manifesting as out of the body or hearing through the veil. 

Mom is not the only one with dream walking abilities. The skill, like most, was passed down to me, first appearing when I was roughly 9 years old, the early half of 5th grade. I had a friend pass away over Labor Day weekend. The night before we got the phone call, I had a dream of her meeting me in the dream in a soul form, as a shadow in the school gym, to say goodbye. I told my mom about the dream when I woke up that morning. Around 8pm that evening, we got the call that she had passed away on impact. 

The year before that, I had my first true experience that I was old enough to understand with losing a pet. I’m typical fashion, I knew they were gone before finding them. The weight of this loss crushed me. At school the following day, the friend who passed and her friend gave me a ring to comfort me. After her passing, I wore that ring as a way to feel closer to her, for a long time. 

RELIGIOUS UPBRINGING

I grew up going to a Lutheran Church and still incorporate some of the Lutheran ideals into my practice today, despite no longer identifying completely with any religion. My spirituality is just part of me, just like my hair or eye color. 

Being Lutheran, anything that I had known about spirituality got muted for a long time, until I stopped believing in the church because the Christian God never showed up for me.

TEEN YEARS

Mom and I started going to metaphysical shops, after her father, a silent medium, passed away when I was around age 13. The one thing that never fully shut off, was my clairaudient channel. 

The first crystal I picked, not rose quartz, not amethyst, not even Obsidian or a grounding stone. Turquoise. A healer’s stone, a spiritual teacher’s stone. Something ancient whispered to me the first time I set foot in that metaphysical shop and said “look who you’re going to become, you already know.” While I practiced fully on and off for years between candle color coordination spells, cinnamon through the door on the first, money calling for jobs, and more, I wasn’t forced hard into it until early 2025, when everything I knew began to collapse.

When the Foundation Broke

February 7th, 2025 was the first time I physically felt a timeline shift and knew what it was. That day during lunch, I visited my grandfather and great grandparents cemetery. Ancestors were calling and stated “you can’t be silent anymore.” Mom’s side called first, dad’s side showed up a bit later.

When I felt the timeline shift. I was getting gas. My brother, who drove an identical car to mine, rear ended by a Honda Odyssey (ironic, I know). That night my brother and I started looking for new cars because we knew the ones we had were ready to step out as main vehicles. 

From February to April I started a drastic depressive episode that would not get better, eventually going to the doctor for antidepressants.

During March my brother and I both bought our new cars, both still having the old cars as well. 

I had a single psychiatry visit and a single therapy visit before everything cracked fully open.

21 days before April 1st, I was prescribed trazodone as an antidepressant from my primary, who knew my history with extreme negative reactions to SSRIs and taking modafinil long term for diagnosed idiopathic hypersomnia. 

The Tower & Collapse

On April 1st I had a video psychiatry intake. I was given a 30 minute session, I left the session frustrated and confused as to why the psychiatrist wanted to put me on Pristiq, a high risk SSRI, in addition to the trazodone, despite the trazodone giving clear indication of stabilizing. When I brought up concerns of the medication, especially given my history with Lexapro, I was brushed off and told I should only experience gastrointestinal issues and sweating. Within two days I was in the ER for an adverse medical reaction, being admitted with a pulse of 126. 

The ER at the same hospital my grandfather passed away. I don’t want to go into all details here, as to not trigger a PTSD episode, but it was extremely traumatic and took me over two weeks just to reach baseline. 

When I saw the therapist again she insisted I go back on medication despite that being what landed me in the ER. I expressed that the ER doctor said those medications never should’ve been prescribed together and was written off as frustrated and told maybe I should get assessed, and written as unwilling to participate in therapy, despite me showing up and trying and crying because I was so scared from intrusive thoughts triggered from the event causing extreme distress and wanted to know WHY they were happening. 

On April 20th, Easter Sunday , everything shook and fell apart.  I let myself get angry. I drove to see my best friend. I suddenly felt better. I knew “I’ve done this in every life and I’ll do it in this one too.” 

I was yelling “I don’t chase, I attract” without ever hearing that phrase before because I was tired of being buried and wanted to live again. 

My soul screamed for freedom and it got it. The anger was Phoenix fire rising. Light at the end of the tunnel. Finally. 

TODAY and Beyond

I’ve not once stopped working since then, reaching inner union, having a soul level death, calling in soul friends and family, and even leading others into their spiritual awakening if they’re ready for it. 

As I continue this blog, I will share more of my stories, advice, spells and more. My only goal is to remind people that shadow and light live in Harmony. They are not enemies. It takes integrating both to be able to reach inner union. 

As always, be blessed on your journey. With light, shadow and integration -Allie 💛